He Was a Shepherd. Avrum’s CJN Article January 26, 2011

http://www.cjnews.com/news/columnists/he-was-shepherd

Kibur Asres died last month at 61 in Bahir Dar, Ethiopia, and was buried in Addis Ababa. Thousands cried for him, Jewish and non-Jewish. We, in Toronto, were honoured to have known him.

Kibur was born on May 12, 1950, in Dabat, Ethiopia, to Qes Asres Yayehe and Amarach Denku. He was known to his close family as Wondemalem, translated as “my dearest brother.” According to his daughter, Beth, he was a wise, kind, generous, courageous and complex man.

Like many great leaders in training, Kibur spent his early years tending sheep. In the 1960s, he graduated, with honours, from Addis Ababa University with a degree in chemistry and mathematics and received his diploma from former Ethiopian emperor Haile Selassie.

Kibur spent the next eight years working as a professor. While teaching at Bahir Dar University, he met the lovely and gentle Walelign Fanta. They had three children, Joseph, Eyassu and Bethlehem (Beth).

In 1983, following the Ethiopian revolution and with a bounty on his head, Kibur and family fled to Montreal with the help of JIAS. They were among the first Beta Israel families to leave Ethiopia and arrive in Canada. He completed a master’s degree in social work at McGill University, while he continued working as a chemist and researcher for the Jewish General Hospital in Montreal, specializing in AIDS research.

Later, the family moved to Toronto and Kibur worked as a social worker with Jewish Family & Child. He was the president of the Toronto Ethiopian Association, and created a very successful parking-lot management enterprise called Globe Park Ltd. Kibur was also the dean of the Ottawa School of Business.

His true passion in life was community service. “Any person who had the opportunity to know him can attest to his genuine passion to improve the lives of all those he encountered,” Beth said.

Kibur was the founder of Horn Refugee Foundation, which assisted more than 3,000 African refugee claimants. He established the Re-Med Foundation, which provided medical supplies to underprivileged people internationally. He also created the Addis Hope Foundation, which assisted in community development in Ethiopia.

Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “I submit to you that if a man has not discovered something that he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.” This was not the case with Kibur Asres. He helped dozens of Ethiopian Jews immigrate to Canada. He was an executive member of the Canadian Jewish Congress and served on its race relations committee. He travelled to Israel in 2000 on an exclusive trip for the national executive of the CJC. While there, he spoke with then-prime minister Ehud Barak about the plight of the Falash Mora.

Kibur was quoted saying, “Apart from the fact that not enough is being done to bring them to Israel, not enough is being done simply to keep them alive. They have so many relatives here [in Israel] and are going to come at some point, so why extend their pain and suffering.”

He is survived by his grandchildren, Rebecca, Abigail and Matthew; his siblings, Etzuvdink, Sara, Kokobie, Mulualem, Mintiwab, Addisalem and Paulos, and many nieces, nephews, cousins and lots of people he saved.

Kibur was a kind of Ethiopian royalty, in his own unique way. More than 1,000 people came to his shivah in Israel, and hundreds more in Toronto. He died young and was very fit to live. Zachreinu L’ivracha (Rest in Peace Righteous Man).

Cops on Compassion Veahavta Radio

Listen to this kick-ass interview with Peter Sloly, a high ranking cop in Toronto, and his take on compassion on the force. Well worth listening to particularly if you believe otherwise. Please let me know your thoughts on this piece. Thanks.

http://www.veahavta.org/index.php/voices-from-the-field/from-toronto-blizzards-player-to-deputy-chief-peter-sloly-speaks-about-the-police/

Veahavta Radio/TV – www.veahavta.org

Ha. Take a look at my organization’s website – www.veahavta.org – and click on the big box in the upper right hand corner stating: Ve’ahavta Radio and Television. We have developed an online radio and tv show which has to do exclusively with tikun olam – repairing the world.

The idea behind these shows are to raise the consciousness of our viewers/listeners about all of our abilities to change the world through our own strength. There you will find interviews with a former prostitute and crack addict, Theresa Schrader, who is now in the employ of Ve’ahavta. She tells us that she can never clean enough, because she simply can get that dirty feeling out of her. Regardless, she runs our Ve’ahavta Street Academy and Creative Writing Contest for the Homeless (a contest she own in 2005).

Watch Ve’ahavta TV, and see an intriguing interview with Nate Laipciger, a Survivor of the Holocaust and Holocaust educator. He says so prolifically that Ve’ahavta is doing the exact thing that Hitler tried to destroy. He made me cry.

Check out our V-TV interview with Bernie Farber, Canadian renowned Jewish activists and community leader, as well as progressive Rabbi, Yossi Saperman, who started out life pretty charadi (very Orthodox) and today is a creative Rabbi with no denominational membership, but a hell of a shul that is growing all the time.

Watch it and let me knwo what you think. Listen and tell me your thoughts. We’re going to go viral. And get what. My co-host on the radio – Vac – is a man who is near homeless. He rocks. He is funny. He is bright. He’s a great radio guy and he doesn’t know where his next meal is coming from. Crazy shit.

Tikun olam on the internet. Well worth listening/watching to.

Starry Nights 2011 – a Huge Tikun Olam Success

We just successfully held Starry Nights 2011. It was quite an evening, one which I am very proud of.

Take a look at www.veahavta.org for pictures and some editorial on the evening which featured Chantal Kreviazuk and such honorary (tikun olam award winners) as Alice Bartole, the director of the House of Hope Orphanage in Haiti.

It was a funky-ass night too. We did a flashmob, and guess what? I danced with 50 others. I’m the son of a Rabbi, not Bob Fosse, so I’m a bit like a stick up there but I did it, and I was proud. Interestingly, I felt more comfortable in front of 650 people dancing, then I might on a dance floor. It was rockin.

I was excited about the night because it was tikun olam entertainment, with a whole lot of soul. What I mean by that was we got into the street a bit, starting off with a Ve’ahavta writing contest winner who did a guerilla presentation, and did it very well.

The honorees ran the gammit from Holocaust survivors known for their education of others, to a young man who started his activism at 4 years old. It was quite an evening, and I’ll update you more over time, but suffice it to say, we stepped up a notch this year. Ve’ahavta, I believe, is in its 20′s, no longer teenagers. Ya!!!

O’seh Shalom B’eemramov h’oo ya’aseh shalom aleinu ve’al kol yisrael, v’imroo Amen!!!!

 

Ve’ahavta Honors the Repair People – CJN Article, November 29, 2011

http://www.cjnews.com/news/columnists/ve%E2%80%99ahavta-honours-repair-people

Sometimes, we Jews have the opportunity to party. That’s a good thing, since there have been many times when we’ve not felt like it or have been prevented from doing so. And, of course, there are the parties, festive and all, where we celebrate our survival, such as Purim, with schnapps and dance, but never forgetting the brokenness that brought us to the party room.

In some ways, Jewish celebrations are like a parody on partying. 

Every year Ve’ahavta, the Canadian Jewish Humanitarian and Relief Committee, holds an annual gala called Starry Nights. It’s a beautiful event/fundraiser with song, of course food and consciousness raising. On Dec. 4, 700 people will come together at Koerner Hall in Toronto to celebrate life and talk about our great ability as Jews and non-Jews alike, to share our resources and our tremendous creativity with others toward the betterment of our world. We learn about the impact humanitarian gestures have on our souls and our lives. We embrace our commitment to chesed and tikkun olam.  

And we celebrate the many lives we have affected and, in some ways, the brokenness of the world, and the need to have an organization like Ve’ahavta. Jewish merrymaking – a parody on partying.

Indeed the world is broken, some would say shattered. It needs repair. So at Starry Nights we feature the repair people, those individuals who have created a humanitarian toolbox and set about hammering together the shards of a vessel we refer to as our existence. These are brave handymen.

In the past we’ve had some pretty impressive repair people (keynote speakers), such as Eli Wiesel, Mia Farrow and Bob Geldof. This year, Starry Nights features international singer, songwriter and humanitarian Chantal Kreviazuk. The event will be hosted by Jian Ghomeshi of CBC.

And then there are the Tikkun Olam Awards – a moment when we recognize the simple, quiet and community repair people, the anawim (humble) individuals who have a clear understanding of “parodying on Jewish partying,” as they have often lived the strife that came before the festivities and feast. 

These are repair people who have spearheaded extraordinary tikkun olam projects without fanfare and ordeal. Some of our award winners over time include Dr. Michael Silverman, world renowned for his work on HIV/AIDS and infectious disease in developing nations, and Gerda Frieberg, a tireless Holocaust educator and activist. 

This year the recipients include Alice Bartol (Humanitarian Award); Nate Leipciger and Pinchus Gutter (Remembrance); Dr. Isadore Lieberman (Medical); Karen Goldenberg (Community) and Bilaal Rajan (Youth Leadership).    

Recently, I interviewed Karen and Nate on Ve’ahavta TV. Karen expressed to me the wonderment of her childhood, a time when she learned about tikkun olam from both her accountant parents. She said her father treated every client in a special way, and her mother made sure their grandmother had 24-hour care and companionship, from other members of the family. Nate talked about his passion for life despite the fact his mother and sister were murdered, and the fact he and his father were forced on long marches with thousands of other Jews and victims of the Nazis. He is a giant of a man, courageous and brave.

Starry Nights is a Jewish party. It reminds us to party and of the imperative to be valiant when called upon to do so, to enhance our world. Our parties feel different, but we know how to do them well. For more information on how to be a repair person or to attend, see our website at www.veahavta.org.

 

http://seg.sharethis.com/getSegment.php?purl=http%3A%2F%2Favrum.wordpress.com%2Fwp-admin%2Fpost-new.php&jsref=&rnd=1322710312437

Good Prayers

http://www.uphs.upenn.edu/pastoral/pubs/blue.html

For Healing

Give ear, Adonai, to my prayer, heed my plea for mercy. In time of trouble I call to You, for You will answer me.

When pain and fatigue are my companions, let there be room in my heart for strength. When days and nights are filled with darkness, let the light of courage find its place. Help me to endure the suffering and dissolve the fear. Renew within me the calm spirit of peace.

Blessed are You, Adonai, Healer of the Sick.

Before Surgery

Adonai, You are with me in my moments of strength and of weakness. You know the trembling of my heart as the turning point draws near.

Grant wisdom and skill to the mind and hands of those who will operate on me, and those who assist them. Grant that I may return to fullness of life and wholeness of strength, not for my sake alone but for those about me. Enable me to complete my days on earth with dignity and purpose. May I awaken to know the breadth of Your healing power, now and evermore.

My spirit I commend to You, my body, too, and all I prize; both when I sleep and when I wake, You are with me; I shall not fear.

Psalm 23

Adonai is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters;
He restores my soul.
He guides me in straight paths for His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I shall fear no evil, for You are with me.
Your rod and Your staff–they comfort me.
You have prepared a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You have anointed my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the mountains;
What is the source of my help?
My help comes from Adonai,
Maker of heaven and earth.
God will not let your foot give way;
your Guardian will not slumber.
Behold! The Guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps!
Adonai in your Guardian,
God is your protection at your right hand.
The sun will not strike you by day nor the moon by night.
Adonai will guard you from all harm–
Adonai will guard your soul,
your going and your coming,
now and for ever.

Night Prayer

Adonai, may it be Your will that I lie down in peace and rise up in peace. Let not my thoughts, my dreams, or my daydreams disturb me. Watch over my family and those I love.

O Guardian of Israel, who neither slumbers nor sleeps, I entrust my spirit to You. Thus as I go to sleep, I put myself into Your safekeeping.

Grant me a night of rest. Let the healing processes that You have placed into my body go about their work. May I awaken in the morning, refreshed and renewed to face a new tomorrow.

Hear, O Israel, Adonai our God, Adonai is One!

We praise You, Adonai, Whose shelter of peace is spread over us, over all Your people Israel, over every creation, and over Jerusalem.

 

I lost a friendship – a CJN Article (November 21, 2011)

http://www.cjnews.com/news/columnists/i-lost-friendship

The Torah teaches us to celebrate differences, and not to want everyone to mimic one another – whether it comes to personalities, beliefs or religious practices.

– Eli Rubenstein

I lost a friendship.

When we were kids, all was good. We were the tame rebels with longish hair and bad-ass mouths. We were the curious kids, the overlooked ones. Few adults seemed to be curious about us.

We went to a boy’s camp, hid our pellet guns under our bunk beds, and waited a tad too long on the train tracks before leaping off. Soon enough adulthood kicked in and responsibility replaced play. We made decisions that sent us off in different directions, and with that came the surfacing of our guilt, fears and needs.

My friend chose to be frum, and I decided otherwise. I think both of us determined our paths based on guilt, stemming from family pressure and a childhood narrative we both knew well, which stated: “There is one right way to live, and that is as frum Jews.” He subscribed to this narrative, and I rebelled against it.

Such a divergence is not all too uncommon as we grow, but it was painful and caused deep resentment. This same thing can happen within families, when a child becomes Orthodox, or leaves Orthodoxy. It can divide.

In my heart, I understand our separation has more to do with the challenges of maintaining a relationship when many of the rules change, not only the spiritual ones. I know this because he has rejected most of his old friends, frum or otherwise. With this in mind, what do I do? I’d like him back. How do I do that? I’ve been working on it for a long time.

There are those relationship sages who have advised me to “forget him.” Others say, “Let him come to you.” I’ve tried talking Torah on the phone with him, to bridge our communication, but it hasn’t worked. I have done my best to harbour few, if any, expectations of our friendship.

But the phone is still quiet. I was not invited to his son’s bar mitzvah. That was painful. (Man, the “day of” sucks.)

According to my friend Eli Rubenstein (who was once Orthodox but now adheres to the values of humanistic Judaism), “it’s sad when one person becomes religious and gives up his/her former friends. But the opposite is equally true, when somebody chooses a less stringent denomination and feels they can no longer have relationships with people who are still Orthodox.”

Eli told me he feels we need to recognize, first and foremost, our common humanity that rises above all else, and that we’re human beings first. “Adding religious denominations shouldn’t stop you from appreciating another person’s core humanity and uniqueness.”

Eli and I talked and concluded: “What happens is that people become so intolerant that they can’t see past other people’s religious beliefs. The fundamental truth is we’re supposed to live our lives, ones that are original and that nobody else has. Then we express that in different ways. But the first thing that should come is our individual human spirit. The Torah is meant to be a guide to a life already being lived; not meant to replace our lives.”

I miss my friend. Any thoughts?

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day. –A. A. Milne

 

Do You ‘Check Men/Women’ Out? Have You Been Checked Out?

Tonight I saw a woman starring at me. She concealed her look from time-to-time, sometimes was blatantly open about it, and other times combined a Mona Lisa smile with it – the like that you don’t know if it’s real or not (perhaps it is all in my ego).

I so enjoyed being looked at. It was refreshing, sexy and made me feel masculine and handsome. Toronto is not a city where woman will openly and comfortably ‘check-you-out’. We are not a town where the men ogle woman with thoughts of romance and passion, as they may in France, but more so with a certain luscivious nature. So, rarely being the prize of a woman’s hunt in that way, was nice.

Do you find that women look at you? Do you find that men look at you? What city are you from? Is it a romantic city?

 

What has your experience been like in Toronto or otherwise. Does the opposite, or even better, same sex ‘check-you-out’. I’ve had some nice experiences with gay men asking after me. That was a compliment too. Do you look longingly at men or women?  Tell me about an experience you had where you were staring or stared at?

What stands out in your mind? What did you see while you were involved in a long look? Did anything come from that moment, of substance or otherwise?

I’ve been wondering what one of the greatest stares in history might have been. Of course i could google it but that would be no fun? Can you think of one – perhaps on film, or in your synagogue on the High Holidays (I am a junior spiritual leader at a local Temple, and it’s quite something to watch people watch people. If one could gauge the dynamic between people in the synagogue on the High Holidays - a place where most people attend 3 times a year - he/she would find great curiosity about others, and wonderment.

Do you like being stared at? Are you comfortable staring at a woman? A man? How long will you hold your stare? Let me know. Thanks.

P.S. Gilad Shalit is slated to come home on Tuesday (to Israel). There was a big price paid for his life, and its painful to consider how it affects so many other lives, but his return home is a simcha (celebration) unto itself. Whatever your thoughts about the Israel-Hamas deal, Gilad is coming home after 5 years. That is highly significant for everyone because we know somewhere in our mind that he was seperated from his family for 1800 days plus; and he was only a couple hundred miles away from them; and he was likely kept out of touch with anyone accept people who were prepared to kill him, if they needed to. We all know this, and explode with happiness for Gilad’s family, and of course for Gilad. God bless the entire planet tonight. Decisions are made every moment, it seems, that plays a major role in our lives. I often think that acting good, doing beautiful deeds, will create a line of dominoes that will run everywhere. Like you perhaps, I pray that evil can become good, and that good becomes better.

Catch me on Twitter now – Avrum38

I just found it out through my friend Vicky Wise, who is a lovely human being. I thought Twitter was silly and a waste of time. Turns out the people who Tweet are by-in-large quite witty and fun. I didn’t have time for it, but the truth be told, it’s easy to download Twitter onto my BB and I’m quite enjoying it. Like anything else it requires time but when I make some, it’s worth it. Mostly there are people, organizations etc. on Twitter that are so ‘right-there’ and compelling, it just feels like the newest form of media – and likely the credible one. Find me at Avrum38. I try to talk about humanitarian issues; peace and goodness.

 

I h aven’t seen my Father in 22 years. How do we?

http://www.cjnews.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=22365&Itemid=86
I haven’t seen my father in 22 years. His name was Shragah Phyvle Rosensweig. In those days, when he was a boy, you would be assigned an English name. His was Philip, which he didn’t like. Philip means “lover of horses.”

He grew up in Toronto with two brothers, Berel and Davey, and his sister, Sylvia.

As a youngster, he was considered to be a good student and a good boy. His brother Berel led the family down a religious path. Shragah Phyvle followed. The two brothers took different spiritual paths, however. Berel embraced modern Orthodoxy and Shragah Phyvle, a more right-wing direction.

In his early years, Shragah Phyvle was one of the founders of the Agudah in Toronto. The Agudah spoke on behalf of haredi Jews in Israel, America, Canada and other countries. Shragah Phyvle felt comfortable in that environment and maintained an Agudah-type lifestyle his entire life.

When the Holocaust was coming to an end, Shragah Phyvle, together with other Agudah leaders like Mike (Elimelech) Tress, began rescuing Jewish orphans in Europe. He put his life on hold, and at one point when he was smuggling orphans into Canada, he was sought by the RCMP.

I haven’t seen my father since October of 1989. I knew him for 29 years. Soon he will be out of my life longer than he was in it. Strange.

In the early ’50s Shragah Phyvle received smichah, rabbinical ordination. He married the lovely Gitel Flicht, and moved to Kitchener after his rebbe, Rabbi Abraham Price, approved of this career move.

By 1960, Shragah Phyvle was the father of five children. I was the youngest. He envisioned a new building for the Kitchener Jewish community and eventually built it. The community burgeoned under his leadership, and would continue to do so over the next 36 years.

First and foremost, Shragah Phyvle was an activist. He worked diligently to introduce the Jewish community to every other community in Kitchener. He lectured at high schools and universities, to church groups and in multi-faith environments – so much so, that the Kitchener Jewish community was at ease with its neighbours and, more importantly, got on well with them. A thousand people of all backgrounds were at his shloshim.

Shragah Phyvle left this world with a brood of grandchildren, and a shem tov – a good name. His house was full of “strangers,” some of whom never really left. His wife is an aishet chayil, a woman of valour, who stood at his activist-side while he actualized a powerful need to make things right for others.

I haven’t seen my father since the night before he died. A couple of days later, following his death, I was flying to Israel to bury him outside of Beth Shemesh in the Jerusalem Hills. What a panoramic view, one he must love!

The last thing I saw of my father was his hand. His hand was gentle. (Sometimes, take a look at people’s hands. They have character). It seemed to reach out from his shrouds wishing us farewell, wanting to stay.

Shragah Phyvle is definitely gone. Recently I read about the new rabbi in Kitchener. I scanned it waiting to read something about my father, who was perhaps the greatest spiritual leader there. But there was nothing. I understood.

I have not seen my father in 264 months. How do we do it?

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