I read with interest your column re: Gift giving excess.
I ask myself when did all this start? My father used to say that in the shtetl when one was bar mitzvah, one had an aliyah and then a shnaps and cookie and off to work. I recall the excess when Mel Lastman made his oldest son’s bar-mitzvah the ostentatious event of the millennium. The bar mitzvah was carried into the banquet hall by “slaves” carrying his carriage. It was deemed to be an Egyptian ambience.The rest of the evening was a garish display of wealth.
As for the gift itself, the yiddish expression, “vi is geshriben?” (where is it written?).
I empathize with the educator who didn’t want to be shamed….so he gave beyond his means. I am also an educator who has been invited to many smichot. I have now started donating to a worthwhile charity (meaningful to the bar mitzvah) rather than supporting his accumulating windfall towards his early retirement. Unfortunately, this “gift” is looked upon poorly.
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