There is so much heartache in the world build upon dissension and our basic inability to repair what is broken. How  many times have you reconciled after falling out with someone you loved and like? Likely not many times. We don’t do it too well. Especially my uncle Morty. He was aweful at forgiving.

I have thought about this extensively and tried to work it through. It was one of the things that took me back into therapy – knowing that  I have caused hurt for someone else and so far been unable to, in some way make it better for him/her and me.

I dislike so much being disliked but even more so, causing an injustice. (Uncle Morty gave a crap about that).

This recognition latches onto me and hold me tight. While I always felt  I was put upon this earth to make things better, that is not always the case. I am as human as the next person, deeply so, and have a vague understanding that ‘it’s okay’ — I am not a demon for hurting others, and this is all part of life.

That being said, so is reconciliation, at least attempting it. What does one say to someone else they hurt? How do I configure in my mind to understand as best as possible, where I start and stop in this situation - i.e. not to take on more responsibility than is mine? What do I say once I am ready to ask forgiveness? Where do I stand? Or do I sit?

South Africa and reconciliation is me, and it is you.

We all have some work to do in terms of correcting our relationships between person-and-person. We should not be too critical or judgmental of ‘Rwanda’, the ‘Congo’, ‘Israel and the  Palestinians’ because in truth we are them.

We are one, they are many, but if we were a country, if we were a government, if we were a tribe, then our ‘one’ would be many.  It is indeed upon us to go out there, into the field and sit in a circle meditating to prepare ourselves for the ‘ask’ – the forgiveness ask.

It is said within Judaism that the world was created for forgiveness.

While I write this I understand this because if I ask forgiveness of those  I hurt, and those who hurt asked me, and the Tutsis asked the Hutus and the Hutus asked the Tutsis – and it was all real, the world would be fixed….repaired to a large extent at least.

The million dollars spent every hour of the year on arms would instead be spent  on books and a good meal. We pursue peace not pugilism, love not swords.

Urging: Think  about one person you have hurt. Sweep aside your ego and consider  what you have done to injure that relationship or human being. Ask someone else what they think to get perspective. Then prepare the ‘ask’. Then do it. You don’t have to be friends with them again,  just sincerely offer a true, sincere hand in peace. It will redeem. It will set free. It is the way out of the Egypt of old. Happy Pesach.